Why Do I Feel Soaked In Cinamon?'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Why Do I Feel Soaked In Cinamon? [ website | my old livejournal (benjishair) ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

New Livejournal...Say Bye To Corey... [13 Apr 2003|08:54pm] [ mood | rejuvenated ] [ music | at last...my love has come along :) (song from last night) ] So I finally got around to making a new livejournal... I kinda feel like I'm starting everything over, so I figured, you know, it fit... 5's a charm...right? {{ EVERYONE BETTER ADD ME OR I'LL PUSH YOU IN A HOLE...TWICE )) My New Livejournal 11 Soaked In Cinnamon ::Soak Me::(comment)

[13 Apr 2003|08:06pm] "who was that other guy with you" HAH! ::Soak Me::(comment)

THE movie [13 Apr 2003|05:04pm] ...Heathers. ::Soak Me::(comment)

[13 Apr 2003|12:26pm] haha. anthrax on a tampax. that's just great. ::Soak Me::(comment)

List of shit to do today... [13 Apr 2003|12:20pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Jew - If you don't don't ] Homework... x study history x finally read that book for English x the chem shit I promised myself I'd do x algebra homework...cuz I really need to start doing it CDS... x KELLY'S CD x the new linkin park for linds x sum 41 for linds x new JEW...i literally broke mine in half x new finch...it's skipping... x rachel's cd !!AND I NEED TO MAKE A NEW JOURNAL!! 1 Soaked In Cinnamon ::Soak Me::(comment)

[13 Apr 2003|12:06pm] My window's open, and it's nice out. And it smells really good in my room. I love life right now. Oh, fucking damnit why can't these feelings stay? ::Soak Me::(comment)

Last night was the fucking shit [13 Apr 2003|11:54am] Katie came over yesterday... we kinda just chilled, she fell in love with Mikey... we went up to the Ryerson Market...SKREWBALLS and capachino.(that's not how you spell it) Uh...yeah, so we just did random shit, then everyone left to go out to dinner so we made tuna... and had some nice conversations... We went on Steph's screen name (sorry steph) and talked to james, he thought it was Kyle the whole time, and he thought he was drunk, the whole time...you don't like tits, cuz YOU'RE GAY!! it came with the package, you like packages, CUZ YOU'RE GAY!!...on and on and on...just calling him gay 9384938493 times...and it was still funny, man, it was so fucking random and great... Then we called him, screamed YOU'RE GAY...and he STILL thought it was Kyle, he's like "oh, you must be one of Kyle's female friends..." It just went on and on forever and it was the funniest shit EVER. I'll probably post the ENTIRE conversation, just for shits and giggles. Yeah... so the whole time we ate about an entire box of cereal... and pixy stix, no snorting this time (...OW!) Uh...yeah, then we were up till 3 am talking about the meaning of life...and she just left... We drank all my mom's coffee though, hah, she got mad. Okay that's about it... Shogina Ponlally. Toodles. ::Soak Me::(comment)

YOU'RE GAY!! [12 Apr 2003|11:38pm] phakelmpt... my throat's all fa clumped. ::Soak Me::(comment)

[12 Apr 2003|11:33pm] I was a genie for halloween that winter. ::Soak Me::(comment)

[12 Apr 2003|11:33pm] "that' shoginna ponlally?" oh saheem, come in for some rice curry? YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME PONLALLY!? WELL YOU HAVE AN OBJECTION!! i dont wanna pimporess anyone ::Soak Me::(comment)

[12 Apr 2003|09:40pm] THRUST ME "I know you make up stories, it's okay" ::storms off:: ::20 minutes later:: ::walks back in house...mean look:: ::picks up keys, leaves:: TUNA AND CRACKERS Gonads and LIGHTNING!! PIDDLE PADDLE POOOOO!! it'll be a not licer!! there's a GUMBALL? ::Soak Me::(comment)

[12 Apr 2003|11:46am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | TSL - saddest girl story ] Aw...Mikey's in his cage...so fucking sad. Motherfucker. Remember that whole Benji/Cashdog situation?? ...yeah. I think I'm borderline. Hey...22 days to like Good Charlotte again... (yeah...I'm listening to them now, go me) It's a strange CD list this week... Finch Good Charlotte Jimmy Eat World Lit (OLDSCHOOL BABY...Tripping the light fantastic) and I couldn't quite ditch TSL yet... ::sigh:: Ken...he's such a fucking hot fudgepacker:/ Time to listen to Mikey cry... oh my. ::Soak Me::(comment)

Oh, here we go... [12 Apr 2003|11:01am] [ mood | envious ] [ music | lit - cadillac (old school, baby!) ] So last night was just suckage. I layed in bed for a few hours, my eyes burning, all that shit... Then I just fell asleep at 11... So so lame. Anyways... today... I woke up..."babysat" the fucking dog... listened as more people made plans for the weekend... Then realized... hey, everyone's actually having fun with their lives... and what am I doing? ...THIS... my life blows, baby. I mean as of right now I'm still in an okay mood, for no reason, I mean after last night I should be dead... but I don't know, something happens...I get over the shit that's supposed to stay with me very fast... and the stupid shit that I'm supposed to just forget because it's not important...well that stays with me forever. It's strange. POINT IS... Ugh!! WHEN am I going to start living?! 2 Soaked In Cinnamon ::Soak Me::(comment)

Oh, motherfuck... [11 Apr 2003|08:39pm] Oh yeah... and my mom made me not make plans all weekend... because of her really weird reasoning... ...and now they all have plans!! I'M FUCKING HOME ALONE WITH THE ANIMAL ALL FUCKING WEEKEND!! ...life blows baby!! ::Soak Me::(comment)

Oh...what a motherfucking day... [11 Apr 2003|08:28pm] So, well, today, it all just went down... 1st - history... Notes with Kelly about turkey and curds!! great shit... 2nd - theater... No Mike. He's the only one who coulda motherfucking amused me, and he wasn't there. Just...MOTHERFUCK. Oh, and James...YOU SUCK!! 3rd - spanish... WOO! PARTY!! hah... Mrs. O'Shea's LEAVING US!! It's so motherfucking sad!! ...but YUM to the dip stuff... and the 2 cupcakes! ...and...um...I DIDN'T FUCK HIM IN GOD'S BASEMENT!! lol...yes, LOL...yeah, I said it;) 4th - english... Nothing...wrote a note, I think... 5th - gym... Took a test... then just sat on balls mwahah... big ones. (exercise balls) and Tom asked if I'd give someone head... 6th - chem... she turned off the motherfucking lights!! ...to look at a purple light thingy... cool beans man. 7th - lunch... ate... Katie told jokes... then me and Kelly went up to the art room... where I had a ghetto fight with Tweeter...great shit. 8th - algebra... 80ish on a quiz, that's going on the fridge baby. and my first board point! Yeah baby!! 9th - art... Didn't quite finish my art project:( But no one cares really... That's all... Then I went home... Sam came with me...she came in, played with Mikey, left like 20 minutes later... Then came hell. ----------------------------- Once my sister came home...shit just got nasty. She was in a bad mood from a fight with my mom...and took it out on me...then came the plain out LYING. Just ugh. And then I...broke?? It was one of my episodes...the bad ones. Death on the floor, heavy breathing, sudden outbursts and screams, the blank stares and muteness, the hyperventalating and tears... and all that shit. 3 hours later... Mom and I decided on a shrink:/ It's harsh, really. I don't like this shit that's going on with me. I HATE it. But it's gotta get me somewhere in life, right?? I have no idea what's gonna happen with me, or what IS happening... but on the bright side... whoever sticks with me... well, I guess they're the real friends, that kinda deal?? Test of faith baby. Okay so I was disgustingly sick and crazy and NOT HAPPY AT ALL before but because of the way I am...it faded into a fake and random normalcy so now I'm in an alright mood...yeah, you all needed to know that, man I love ****, okay, now I'm gonna go do...something. 3 Soaked In Cinnamon ::Soak Me::(comment)

Ups and downs... [10 Apr 2003|10:03pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | TSL - tell the truth ] So today was...today. 1st period - history... test postponed...YES!! I fell asleep, then hit my head, and everyone made fun of me. that's all... 2nd - theater... my scene today...it went alright. FLOOFY SKIRT!! hah! uh...I think Chris broke my nose with a breadstick - oh my motherfucker it hurt!! oh, and Mike found out about my arm :/ 3rd - spanish... BULLFIGHTS!! Ole!! And notes to everyone. 4th - english... nothing really...just...nothing. 5th & 6th - lab... POPCORN!! hah, lots of mistakes...too much oil, not enough oil, it was insanity!! PLUS FIRE!! And a cursed coffee can. 7th - lunch... Me and Kelly broke the door:/ ...oh, and I had a breakdown... which just came across as being annoying... ...oops... 8th - algebra... I was still going crazy... enough said. 9th - art... I TRIED Kelly's quiet thing - DIDN'T WORK!! And the radio was satan!! I swear!! ALL THE BAD SONGS!! Then I went home... on the bus I found out Jamie Rice wants to kill me because I was Avril Lavigne for halloween (that rhymes) hah, just, fuck, it was funny...I was like oh yes, the queen of hardcore is lecturing me on something that was only a joke? Right... Then I went home... played with the dog for an hour... then Linds came home and holy fuck there was something up her ass... she was such a fucking ditz... I'm vommiting and trying to get ready for my retreat... and I ask her to watch the fucking dog for 5 minutes and she's like WHY SO YOU CAN PRIMP SOME MORE, AND PUT ON SOME MORE MAKEUP!? ...Nice...I was in sweats and I wasn't WEARING makeup... But let blondie be the judge... Yeah, she just pisses me off...cuz she promises so many things, and just...lies. And contradicts everything she says. Hypocracy to the max. Then I went on the retreat... when I got there I was attacked by happy "I love God" people...it was like "HI MY NAME IS JDSKFJDSKFDS HOW ARE YOU!? IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU!!! WHAT SCHOOL ARE YOU FROM!??! DO YOU LOVE GOD?!" ...and uh...BAM!! Yeh, so then some pretty fucked shit went down... I just cracked up to myself...because there was no one there to appreciate the humor in the stupidity of it all... Then we broke into "small groups" and we talked a lot about sex and drugs...yeah so apparently I'm sinning in thinking that sex before marriage isn't a bad thing... Oh well, I can't go to hell, it doesn't exist?? Yeah... so then we ate... and I was "the outcast" hah...it was fun...I was with all these people from Pequanock and it was just like...um...hey... Yeah, but they were cool...I met this kid...he's in my confirmation group thing, but I never actually talked to him...he's pretty cool... Yeah...so then I came home... and things crashed again... Mom...Dad...reminder of the sister thing...it was just too much, and when I tried to talk about something it just blew up in my face... I'm not what people think I am... sometimes I actually do know what I'm talking about. I don't know. I want that therapy now. Now that I can't have it anymore... Yeah...so that's about it for now... oh...and I have a plastic knife!! haha...it's just ... SHARP!! And therefore a cool thing to play with. Alright, it's only 10, but I'm tired as fuck, and angry, and all that shit...so I'm going to bed... =whit- ::Soak Me::(comment)

3's a charm?? [09 Apr 2003|07:12pm] Last mental note...promise... KEN'S SO FUCKING HOT... and yeah. ::Soak Me::(comment)

Another one... [09 Apr 2003|07:12pm] Make Kelly's CD... 2 Soaked In Cinnamon ::Soak Me::(comment)

Note to self [09 Apr 2003|07:09pm] Wear TSL shirt tomorrow ::Soak Me::(comment)

Crazy day... [09 Apr 2003|07:03pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | tsl - best of me (i'm addicted lately) ] Alright so obviously I was on edge last night... stupid stuff affected me...you know the drill, it made me do stupid crazy things...I'm working on it, blah blah, you know the deal... Anyways... 4am... I wake up to sick convulsions... it was scary... as fuck. I mean seriously...worse than I've had in the past few months... So that lasted about a half hour... Then I woke up at 5...the dog was crying...so I had to take him out and stuff... Then I went back to sleep... woke up at 6...chest pains, holy FUCK it hurt... So I got dressed and stuff for school... but then I had an attack of some sort, and I couldn't go to school...that was yet another fun experience... So I accomplished nothing all day, because the damn dog wouldn't leave me alone...I swear I'm never having kids... And holy fuck once again, you should see what he did to me... the damn sharp puppy teeth fucking hurt!! Um... yeah... Tomorrow is my scene for theater... and I don't know my lines really, or what to wear for it, oh well I'll think of something... Oh, and I have a history test friday...that I was GOING to study for today (cuz I have the gay ass retreat for confirmation Thursday 4-930) but um...yeah...Katie didn't bring the book yet...and I have the feeling she just forgot... So I don't care, I'll just ask to take it on Monday or something, no big deal... Uh, what else? Oh...yeah I should have read the fucking book for English...I have 98349389 more chapters to read... Okay, and Katie just came with the book...hah, I have no faith, I'm a motherfucking ... fucker. Yeah... (gotta love the fucking extensive vocabulary, um...fuck) Yeah so anyways... I've given up on school... Junior year's the one that counts anyway... Plus sometimes I just don't know if I'm making it as far as college... I mean if I can't handle life when it's this easy... I just don't know... The easy way out is just really appealing sometimes... Let's see what else is there?? I think that's it...now the dog's in his cage and he's crying like fuck...it's insane...10 minutes of peace!! That's all I want!! I'd say Jesus...but I'm not Catholic anymore (hard habbit to break...) So yeah... Now I have to clean my room... and then maybe study... Maybe...um...I don't know...maybe NOT be a waste... but I doubt that'll happen... =whit= ::Soak Me::(comment)

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